I intentionally did not go out yesterday so I could rest (in between work) and get my bearings back. Today I did not have much choice, however, since we run out of toilet paper. I went down early to avoid the rush (if at all). I had a list with me and I know my way pretty well in the not so big supermarket down by my apartment building. But I noticed a few changes. Like the meat section was rearranged, some new biscuits available, cereals were in a different aisle, there was some pet food (or maybe I just have not noticed them before) and I did not know imported strawberries are very very expensive! It was comforting to see though that my (used to be) favorite chips section was still the same! The biggest epiphany probably, is how I am still shocked by the prices! I mean, the shopping basket was barely full!
I suppose there are really some (hopefully) good things that never change. But for the three months that I have been away, there were changes. I suppose when you do not consciously reflect, you would not notice the small differences. Like I can still fit in my clothes (albeit a little bit more snugly) but if I did not weigh myself, I would not be aware I have gained 3 kg! I would like to think I am going through a major transformation (aka massive growing up) so definitely the past few months, I saw some changes in myself (I mean, more than the added weight).
I am the same struggling (financially) single mother, but now I try not to focus so much on what I cannot control (the various social and economic forces affecting my work) but rather the fact that it has already been 15 months since the lockdown started and we still have food on the table, clothes on our back and a roof over our head. What I have lost during this trying time, I am confident I can recover from, but the toll the anxiety and constant worrying is making on my mental and overall health is just not worth it.
I am the same lazy and messy procrastinator, but now I really make a willful effort to try to overcome these. I have discovered that my competitiveness does not only apply to making sure I am at least on the top 10% of the company I am representing and breaking my personal records when it comes to work, but also (and if I think about it, more importantly) to make sure I am the best mother I could be to my daughter and breaking habits that no longer serve me.
I am the same social and extroverted girl, but now I have learned how to value the people who really loves and treats me well more. Spending time with my family made me feel like the happier, could not care less, younger version of myself. Having lived away from them for 2 decades, I was overwhelmed by the warmth and affection I was showered with. Armed with the security that my parents (even if we argue from time to time) and my three older brothers (even if we do not get to see each other often) always have my back, I am less afraid of what tomorrow might bring.
I have also realized that I do not have that one (at least) person I could call my best friend forever. I get along pretty well with just about anyone, and I could blend in perfectly with whatever crowd I find myself in, but never have I ever really had a set of fixed friends. I do have a best friend from grade school, high school, college, sun life, real estate and everything, but honestly, it is not the kind which I get to catch up with on a regular basis. This I have got to do something about. I do not wish to be a social butterfly for the rest of my life, it would be nice to have at least one constant friend, the person I could call when I am glad, sad, mad and scared.
If I dig deeper, I could come up with more. But now I am content with the fact that I am really starting to live a more conscious life. This way, I can make the necessary changes so I can be a better human being and live a better life.
What changes have you noticed in your local supermarket? I mean in your life the past few months?
#ToABetterSarah #RaisingSophia #FindingSarah #FromZeroToHero