Would You Rather Be Unhappy Or Rewire?

When I was in high school, I have taken interest in reading historical romance novels. Yep, I went through that phase, too! Among my favorite authors were Johanna Lindsey, Jude Deveraux, Judith McNaught and Nora Roberts. I know I am late, but I have just finished season 1 of Julia Quinn’s Bridgerton in Netflix.

Given my history of Disney shows and romance novels when I was younger, one would think that I am a hopeless romantic (subject to discussion, but not really my blog’s topic for today, and I would like to think I am not, anymore or ever). Maybe I was just too aware that what I was watching and reading were fiction. Or maybe my early attachment from even before I could read was so strong ( https://toabettersarahraisingsophia.wordpress.com/2021/06/20/the-one-with-fathers-day-part-1/ ) and more powerful than any shows and books.

The way your brain is wired can either help you have happy, satisfying relationships or it can be a huge obstacle to a healthy love.

So where does this wiring come from? Unfortunately, most of your brain’s wiring for relationships was determined unbelievably early in your brain’s development – before you were about two years old. (Your interactions as a baby have an enormous, lifelong influence on how your brain does relationships.)

The good news, though, is that you can rewire your brain for better relationships. You can change your old “relationship brain” neural pathways and develop new and improved ones using simple, 2,500-year-old mind-training techniques that are more precise than a neurosurgeon’s blade, and without all the mess. The ancient practice of mindfulness meditation, as it turns out, produces real, measurable changes in the brain in key places so that deeper connections, better love, and healthier relationships can really take hold.

Marsha Lucas: Rewire Your Brain for Love

In the show, the Duke of Hastings had a very traumatic childhood (like his father telling him to his face that he is incompetent and not good enough and is dead to him) and he made a vow on his father’s deathbed that he will never sire a child. Along came Daphne and they fell in love (though with much resistance from the duke). In the end, they found themselves married (because they kissed in a dark garden and one person saw the compromising event and apparently in those days, that is enough to ruin a lady’s reputation!) then Daphne discovered he actually did not want to have kids (while in their helluva honeymoon, I might add) as opposed to could not, which she accused him of leading her to believe. The whole drama could have been avoided if only there was sex education back then (or if only Daphne’s mother took the time to teach her daughter how babies were made).

If the show is a realistic portrayal of what life was like back in the 1800s, I could not be so more out of place! I imagine I would be like Eloise, desperately trying to make my own way in a society where women are raised (and forced) to become wives and mothers (at a young age) and are encouraged (or get disowned by their own families, or heaven forbid, die an old maid) to not have their own opinions. The flirting (though in a very old-fashioned way) I do not really mind, but that is not only what I am good at!

Or maybe I would be like Penelope, doing my thing slyly. Though I do not really like gossiping about other people’s affairs (I’d rather tell my story, after all), the idea of cleverly hiding behind a pen name while stirring the whole town’s curiosity (and sometimes indignation) sure does appeal to my rebellious side. Like the rest of the ton, I was deceived by Penelope, too. I was perplexed at how Mrs. Whistledown could have known about Marina’s predicament. I thought Penelope knew the author’s identity, but it did not occur to me it was her! Why was the story narrated by Julie Andrews, by the way?

In keeping with the happily-ever-after storyline, they did have a son at the end of the season. It makes me wonder what made the duke change his mind about being a father. Either Daphne was too convincing, or their love conquered his fears, or maybe the sex was just too great? I sure do not remember Simon meditating for a minute! Every time he is troubled, he would vent out ( https://toabettersarahraisingsophia.wordpress.com/2021/07/10/would-you-rather-vent-or-pause/ ) by sparring with his friend.

Am I just wasting my time with meditation? I read a lot of good reviews and it has become pretty huge today. But, I mean, between mindfulness meditation and making great love, the latter is obviously more enjoyable, hands-down. Oops. I seem to forget the show is fictional. All right, I will work on my meditation harder. And it is not like the other option is available right now anyway. And even if it is, I will still try every thing that could possibly help me be the best version of myself.

Can you imagine yourself living in the 1800s?

#ToABetterSarah #WhatTheWorldNeedsNow #FromZeroToHero


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