I would like to add 1 more to 10 Useful Benefits Of Blogging.
11. A way to show Sophia the benefits of writing.
My daughter read my post entitled 10 Adorable Things I Love About You and she told me she would like to write a list about the reasons why she loves me, too. I got so excited I suddenly thought of creating a WordPress account for her so she can contribute posts to my blog, maybe once a week at least so I can take a break! I had to remind myself not to get too carried away. I was already considering how to teach her about how to write a blog, how she needs a theme and what she wants to tell the readers, etc. I had a bit of a headache thinking about whether she needs to follow what my month’s theme is, or maybe have something entirely her own. Writing has definitely shown me how anal I could be!
To make a long story short, I settled for a list. I had to stop myself to ask her to expound on her list and say something about each entry, like how do they make her feel or maybe an unforgettable memory or why she loves them about me. I had to remind myself that she is seven, and not to pressure her too much. It was already quite a pleasant surprise how she volunteered to write (more like make a list actually) herself.
10 Things I Love About My Mommy
- That she takes care of me well.
- That she is patient.
- She is loving and kind.
- How she cuddles me in the morning, afternoon and night.
- She has nice gifts for me.
- That she saves up money for future gifts.
- That she buys what I need / want.
- That she teaches me lessons for the future.
- How she lays down and watches Netflix with me.
- That she is with me when I wake up in bed.
To say that this list blew my mind away is an understatement. I have always been insecure about the way I raise my daughter. I know it is irrational, but no matter how many times people tell me I am doing a good job (and maybe at the back of my mind I know it, too), I still cannot shake off the feeling that somehow, I can do more. After reading my daughter’s list, I felt a little reassured that maybe, I am really doing a fine job of raising her.
If at least in her eyes, I am taking care of her well (1), then maybe that is all that matters. What other people think, and in this case what I think, do not. I am glad that she loves me for my patience (2) and kindness (3), two traits I have been working on (number 1 in my 10 Challenging Goals Sophia And I Are Doing This August list is to not snap at her).
The list also tells me how it is the little things that Sophia appreciates. We may live in a tiny apartment in a lockdown, but when she wakes up, I am beside her (10). I may not buy her all the sweets and toys she wants, but I cuddle her every chance I get, which is a lot these days. She may be bored several times a day especially when I am busy, but we find time to hugdle (hug + cuddle) (4) and watch her favorite anime shows (9). Best 369 I have ever spent!
Sophia only expects gifts on 2 occasions, her birthdays on 24th of January and on Christmas Day (5), so I make it special for her. She has already tried negotiating with me several times about adding Halloween to the list. I will ask her what is with that the next time she opens it up again. I do not definitely want to assist her in any way. Though I think she has a better chance if she tries with my birthday. There are some special times however, when I make exceptions, and it makes her all the more appreciative. I want her to grow up not expecting all her whims to be given to her on a silver platter. Every time she wants something, my automatic response is maybe on Christmas or her birthday. And if it is particularly not cheap (like everything is for me really) I would often tell her I will work on it, hence the save money for future gifts (6).
I have taught her about the difference between a need and a want some 2 or 3 years ago (7). And it amazes me to know that the lesson stuck with her. To all my parent friends, I highly recommend discussing this difference, too. It does not only help improve your child’s emotional intelligence, but also helps parents not make unnecessary expenses when the kids would not leave the toy store until you buy this or that for them! I should know, I was one of those brats when I was Sophia’s age!
Finally, I am so pleased to know my daughter appreciates all the little “lessons for the future” that I try so hard to teach her (8). Of course, I took this opportunity to teach her a thing or two again. I described to her how her list made me feel, how happy and proud I am of her. That sometimes, doing or saying something nice to someone might make that person’s day. That it is better to tell someone you love him or her three hours too soon than a minute too late. That one does not have to wait for a special occasion to express appreciation to someone you love.
Just like The One Where Sophia Asked Mommy To Raise Her Better, this experience has got to be one of my proudest parenting moments. Like I always say, it may not always look like she is listening and learning, but apparently, she is. Or like a broken record, maybe I have just told her one too many times.
Try asking your child to make a list, too! But maybe make one first? ❤