I am not very particular with my hair. After I had Sophia, I did not bother with it and realized one day that my hair felt like straw. I guess we can all agree how important first impressions are to a salesperson. I suppose I could get away with not wearing (much or at all) make up and such by being enthusiastic and knowledgeable about my field.
I do dress up for work when I need to (drove my manager crazy for years). But to be honest, I make more effort when it comes to attracting a man. The day I mentioned above happened one uneventful afternoon four years ago. I was meeting a friend and her friend to view a condo in Makati to sell. Back then, I started a sort of like a minimalist wardrobe, if you must, consisting of white blouses and jeans. So everyday that is what I usually wear.
My friend was late because of work and I was 30 minutes early (I can make a good impression not just by my looks, but by being punctual). Needless to say, at 4 o’clock I was already restless. A tall distinguished gentleman entered the building and took a seat near me. I did not even take the time to ask my friend about the prospective client. All I knew was he (wait, I am not even sure if I knew he was a he) is from Switzerland.
Having nothing better to do (not to mention being bored out of my wits), I introduced myself and asked him if he was waiting for my (our) friend. Turns out he was, and we started having an animated discussion about the stock market, real estate investment, how he liked diving and to retire in the Philippines someday, etc.
To make a long story short, we hit it off really well and I definitely was able to establish rapport and gotten more than what I have bargained for, actually. We became friends, and for a very short time more than friends.
That first meeting made me realize how unconcerned I am of my appearance. But in spite of that, I am pleased to be able to prove that attraction comes in many forms, physical being only one. In his own words, “The first things I got attracted from were your enthusiasm, your intelligence and your charm… just after that i started to concentrate more on your looks too…”
I only learned after he left Manila that he was interested in me. Our second meeting was still, for me at least, a business one. We talked about real estate for half an hour and the remaining 2 and a half about Roman laws (he was a lawyer and I was able to keep up my end of the conversation even if I am not a fan of politics and history) and Science and nutrition (I was a bit under the weather then) and just about anything.
For the record, I was not trying to catch his attention for any other reason aside from wanting to list his property. So I was extremely shocked when he (apparently) asked our mutual friend if I was flirting with him. When I saw him, I took it for granted that he was married and maybe with children (or grandchildren, he looked older than his 45 years).
The next time we met I had my hair colored and trimmed. He was pleased, of course, but it was nice to know that his attraction goes more than just skin deep. That relationship, if I could call it that, was very short-lived. It was remarkable however, since that was the first time I went out after having a baby. And the first, of several, foreigners I dated.
I am aware that men are visual creatures. In the words of one of my ex-boyfriends, “I still want to be seen with an attractive woman in my arms.” I suppose I could live with that. After all, I also want to wake up next to a handsome face.
So did I do things differently after that? I try to doll up a bit especially on first meetings, just to look a little more presentable. But other than that, I make sure that there is more between us than just physical attraction. After all, beauty fades and what is left is hopefully a friendship based on shared interests and respect for the other person.
It has been over 17 months since the lockdown started. Even if I do meet someone online right now who are in Manila, I am still hesitant to go out and socialize. I have been thinking about having my hair cut for a while now and when I woke up this morning, I suddenly had the urge to get on with it. So I just grabbed a pair of scissors and snipped away.
Why did I do it?
1. To save on money. I can easily cut my hair on my own. I had it trimmed and colored last March (which, in my standards, cost a fortune) so at least I do not have to worry about making sure it is straight.
2. To save on shampoo. I shower and wash my hair every day. But maybe more because I am lazy, I either shampoo or condition my hair. Which drove my ex crazy.
3. To save on conditioner. Aside from the savings I make from alternating between the two hair care products, shorter means I use less of them.
4. To save on sunflower oil. I did not bother with anything for my treated hair, but the medicine did make it extremely dry, so I needed to apply oil so it is not so frizzy.
5. To save time. Not that I do not have 30 minutes to have my hair washed and cut and blow dried in the salon, but I used that time to write this instead.
6. To experience it. It was kind of fun. My heart was beating fast while I was doing it, maybe a bit apprehensive that it will look hideous, but it turned out well.
7. To show Sophia I can do it, too. She cut her own bangs and there was this one time when she overdid it and could have given Dora a run for her money.
8. To save on hair ties. For the past several months, I usually wear my hair in a bun high up my head (which can be heavy) or just leave it alone (which interferes while eating etc somehow).
9. To sleep better. If I tie my hair then I could not lay down where the knot is or it will push against my skull and hurt. If I tie my hair up in a bun, it is all tangled when I wake up. If I just leave it be, I sometimes wake up with hair in my mouth or all over my face.
10. Because I can, so why not?
Seriously, this 10 things list is starting to become exhausting. Fortunately, I like stretching myself.
Maybe when this restrictive pandemic is more manageable and I can go out once more, I will have my hair done again. I am pretty sure it will not be in very good shape then.
How is your hair doing today?
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