Written April 11, 2021:
Lately I’ve been filled with doubts. Am I really destined for greatness? Can I achieve what I (will) set out to do? Or am I meant to live a simple, quiet life? Raise my daughter and spend my days growing fruits or maybe walking dogs? Who is to say which kind of life is better anyway? I do not have the answers right now, not even close.
Mommy: Sophia, what do you want to talk about today? We could also walk silently if you prefer.
Sophia: uhm… What about gratitude, Mommy?
M: what about it?
S: I’m grateful for my family, Mommy. I’ve had so much fun playing with my cousins. And also, Mommy? I’m very thankful for my life! I have a happy life.
M: I’m glad you feel that way, Anak. Keep it up! Remember the law of attraction? What you focus on, expands.
S: you know what I’m most grateful for, Mommy?
Whenever I have conversations like this with my daughter, I feel like I am at least doing something slightly right in my life. I am far from being the best parent I could be for her, but I sure am trying my hardest. It just blows me away how it seems like our emotions are in sync. I have started with the 100 days grateful challenge. To be honest, I have not touched my journal for almost a month now, and Sophia’s is in Manila. So it is all the more surprising how she suddenly brought up gratitude.
Note to self: Sarah, whenever you have doubts, feel and acknowledge them. Somehow your daughter feels them, too. And it is ok. What is important is you try to find answers. And do not forget to have a grateful heart!