Love Changes People

I attended a webinar this morning about discovering one’s life purpose. Five questions that help us figure out why we exist:

1. What am I passionate about? What gives you joy?
2. What are your talents and strengths? What makes you unique and special?
3. What are your life defining moments? What did you learn, and how did this shape the person you have become?
4. Who influenced you most in your life? What did they do for you, and how did they change you?
5. If money is not an issue,  what would you do to change the world? What positive human impact would you like to create?

As I was trying (and struggling) to find answers, I realized love played quite a role in the kind of person I am today.

Three life defining moments for me are

1. I became a mother. Whether the second I tested positive in a home pregnancy kit, or that time when I first held my little girl, or the moment it hit me hard how much this little person means to me, how every decision in my life now revolves around her, how when we talked about Lily Potter died protecting Harry I looked her in the eyes and told her I would do the same for her and knew in my heart that I would willingly (without a doubt) give my life for her. Having that kind of very strong positive emotions towards another human being gives me strength I never knew I had. For in the darkest moments of my life, the thought that my young, sweet daughter needs me kept me going.

2. I loved someone truly, madly, deeply. Having experienced the kind of love that made me want to be a better person would have a profound impact on anyone. He never chastised and judged. On the contrary, he seems to have this deep well of patience that never runs dry. When we first met, I definitely needed that, given the high level of immaturity and insecurity I had. I would act out and instead of flaring up himself, he would smile at me and quietly wait until I calm down. Knowing someone does not criticize (even when I am obviously being unreasonable) and accepts me for what and who I am, gave me the feeling of security and confidence to believe that I am enough, more than enough. It was exactly what I needed to grow up into a generally better person and particularly a more loving (and I hope lovable) individual.

3. I had my engagement (and heart) broken. When I lost the man who has shown me what it’s like to be in a loving and mature relationship, I was devastated, it felt like the world has lost all colors, and that I will not be able to smile again. Nothing anyone said and did helped. Not the be grateful it happened instead of be sad it ended, not the he did not deserve your tears after what he has done, not the someone better will come along (this came from my ex himself, like hearing this would make his breaking up with me less painful, should I have thanked him for giving me the chance to find a better lover?). In the end, I needed to fill the large void he has left. And who better equipped, more capable and has all the right reasons to do so than myself. This experience has taught me that I should not rely on any one man (or person, for that matter) to give me the kind of peace that comes from the knowledge that someone has got my back. After all, I do feel like giving myself a pat on the back at times when I feel like I have done a particularly good job at raising my daughter.

To the best daughter any parent could ask for, my only wish for you is to become the kind of loving person who makes the world a much brighter and pleasant place to live.

To the best ex I ever had, I am grateful for all the memories you have given me, the love you have shown me and the lessons you have taught me.

To the best version of myself, never rest on your laurels, keep improving. To a better Sarah!

What are your life defining moments? What did you learn, and how did this shape the person you have become?

#ToABetterSarah #FindingSarah #WhatTheWorldNeedsNow

1 Comment

  1. Sadje says:

    Becoming a mother definitely strengthens us. It’s the purest and best form of love.


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