“I make a distinction between aloneness and loneliness. Loneliness is the unavailability of people to communicate with on any level. Aloneness, however, is the unavailability of someone to communicate with at your level.”
It is nice to think that I would never ever be lonely, with these definitions anyway. Connecting with people (from all walks of life and on any level) is something I am actually good at! Feeling alone, on the other hand, is something very relatable. Have not we all felt alone at least at one point in our lives? Whether we are going through an exciting or challenging time, there are just those moments when we feel like no other human being really, really gets us!
When we find someone who seems to understand us completely, we feel elated, like finally I am with a person whom I can be totally me, and everything just clicks! Is not it a beautiful, wonderful life! I had the fortune to be with such a person, who once told me that “I complete him” (in his own words). Until now, there are still instances when I find myself bewildered, feeling robbed and bemoaning the unfairness of life. For how can the perfect lover suddenly became a complete stranger again, just like that?
I am ending love month with this, my last post about love. Or more appropriately, about him. For it has been a week short of a year since I last saw him. I suppose I would survive being alone for the rest of my life, but I could not help but wonder if I could feel like that with another person again. It would indeed be nice, if I could not only be not lonely but also not alone.
To my one that got away, I am forever grateful to you. For all the wonderful memories and the experience of genuine love. The short time that we’ve been together was one of the happiest of my life. I wish you well. I hope you don’t forget about me.
I am truly letting you go. Good bye, my love.
PS. He sent me this photo saying this is what we’d look like 50 years down the road and asking if I would still feel the same when he looks old (older really! lol) and wrinkly. I confidently answered yes, but now maybe we would not even have the chance to meet again, ever.
Sophia Appreciates – I distinctly remember original photo was taken 2 years ago, because I just cried and he bought me ice cream.
Update: this was definitely not the last post I wrote about him. But the good news is, I would like to believe that the have let him go now.