Would You Rather Marry Someone Older Or Younger?

Gorgeous celebrity Boo Hye-rung is married to a handsome lawyer, Pan Sa-hyeon. From the outside, they could not be more perfect for each other. They simply look good together! So my initial reaction to Sa-hyeon’s cheating is, is he freaking kidding me?! His wife is a goddess!

In one of the episodes, Hye-rung told herself that it certainly was not Si-eun’s unattractiveness that caused Hae-ryun ( https://toabettersarahraisingsophia.wordpress.com/2021/07/18/would-you-rather-marry-your-high-school-sweetheart-or-someone-who-has-already-sowed-his-wild-oats/ ) to stray. In the DJ’s case, it was her cold uncaring nature and very hot temper that drove her husband away. Moreover, even if both of them agreed before getting married not to have kids, Sa-hyeon should have communicated with his wife that he changed his mind.

Probably what pushed him over the edge, however, is how narcissistic his wife is. She only cares about herself and is very inconsiderate of others. I have looked into writing about dating someone hot but ill-mannered over someone not so attractive but kind, but of course we know how that ends. Theoretically, at least.

When I was younger, I used to think I prefer men my age, someone who shares my interests (movies, songs, TV shows, etc). My last relationship (with a 15 year gap) changed this partiality. I am now into older men. He may have favored Hey Jude over Baby One More Time, told me stories of how he used to write letters to his girlfriend by snail mail before and asked me to be patient when it took him an hour to call me back, and showed me Seinfeld videos instead of watching FRIENDS together (unbelievable, right?!) but I would take that anytime over a guy who is into video games and has not figured out what he wants in life yet.

At first, I was pretty surprised that Sa-hyeon falls in love with Song Won, a 10 year older (though she sure does not look the part) divorcee. Hye-rung is 1 year his senior, too. So maybe he just does not care about age difference. This is not the usual case.

A famous article in Newsweek back in 1986 reported that single women in their forties were more likely to be killed by a terrorist attack than to get married. What is particularly interesting about this bogus factoid is the willingness of so many of us to believe it for so long. Why would we be willing to accept something that should have sounded about as plausible as the idea of aliens abducting humans? The reason is that the theory spoke to a larger cultural anxiety. It may not have accurately described the situation, but for many single women it offered confirmation of what they were feeling at the time. And what they were feeling – without realizing it – was a massive demographic shift.
According to studies, women look for men who are three and a half years older on average, while men prefer women roughly two and a half years younger. There is a fairly obvious reason for these preferences: men want access to women who can successfully reproduce, and so they seek out younger women. Women want men who can provide for them, so they seek out men who are older and more established. This is largely unconscious but no less potent because of that. In 1996, first-time brides were on average 24.8 years old, and first-time grooms were 27.1 years old.
Because women prefer to marry someone older, their dating pool naturally shrinks with each passing year, while the dating pool of men expands with each year. In other words, men find their stock rising as dating prospects at precisely the moment that women find their stock falling. An added twist worsens this demographic trend for older women – age preferences do not remain stable. As men grow older, they are no longer satisfied with a woman only two to three years younger. They want a woman even younger. According to statistics taken from personal ads in newspapers, men in their thirties want a woman roughly five years younger, while men in their fifties want a woman ten to twenty years younger.
Andrew Trees – Decoding Love

Being single in my mid-30s (yep, I consider myself in the mid still) does not bode well for me. And with the pandemic not ending anytime soon, I am so screwed (not in a good way!). The longer this lockdown drags on, the worse my chances get. Shall I brace myself for a husband maybe 30 years older than I am, if at all? Or maybe like Sa-hyeon, I will be an outlier. After all, some men mature early, too. For I believe maturity does not come with age, but with experience. And of course, I can pass for a woman in her early 20s!

I still have a little over 3 years before I need to worry about terrorist attacks, but just to be on the safe side, I will start looking out for bearded men (no offense, this is the least politically incorrect I could get). And at the same time, prepare myself for a caring and long-term relationship (maybe even marriage), for I have not lost faith yet.

With these discouraging statistics however, how do I increase my chances?

#ToABetterSarah #WhatTheWorldNeedsNow #FromZeroToHero